TURNING, TURNING AND TURNING AGAIN…
oh and turning once more…
I feel quite dizzy to be honest. Dizzy of this ever turning year. A lot of the times it is that nice, butterfly- stomach-adventure-dizzy and sometimes deeply de-orientating-lost-dizzy feeling. Both of them are quite present.
This is the year that is teaching me how to surrender in the dance, with life as my dance partner, death as my dance partner, showing me all corners of the room. I danced a lot on my own, dances of freedom and sensuality, but this feels different. Sometimes I try to take the lead… but that is clearly not what I am supposed to do this time.
We turn and we turn and we turn, as soon as I try to keep track the dizziness starts.
“You don’t need to keep track. Bacause you don’t need to find your way back later. That way will vanish. A new one WILL emerge.”
So I go. I move. Flow. Struggle. Dance. Open.
And end up in new worlds. Having no clue.
I keep on replanning my route. The art of not knowing seems to become a gift.
I do not know a thing. But in that darkness I can clearly feel which lead to follow in the dance.
I commit myself to this dance. And I will
Finding myself in new places of (un)consciousness.
Madelief de Graaf, 28th of October, 2019